12 New Games update, and a general update of sorts.

Almost forgot to report that I have finally completed this year's promise to try 12 new games.   Those whom have been readers of my blog for quite some time know how I've committed myself to trying to run or play in twelve new games each year.  Born from having realized that I had wasted so many years focused on White Wolf games alone before, I wanted to make up for it and promise myself to try out 12 different games or game system each year.  I honestly believe that every game system created has something to teach or something different to try out and being open to experiencing this is a great way to continuously keep growing and learning as a GM.  

For this year, I've played the following:
Twelve New Games for 2016
1) Pocket Odyssey
2) Marvel Heroic Role-playing Games
3) Fiasco: Bookhounds
4) Wield
5) #TagRPG
6) Mutant City Blues
7) 7th Sea, second edition
8) Curse of the Yellow Sign #3
9) Chuubo's Marvelous Wish-Granting Engine
10) Inspectres
11) A Single Moment
12) V20

I've included my own game, A Single Moment, as I got to play it for the first time via a podcast with Party of One, and via a Google Live Hangout with Andy Kitkowski.  The last one, V20 was something I weighed on carefully before deciding to list down.  I realize V20 actually does feel different from the usual Vampire lines (Vampire 2nd ed, and Revised edition) with the different changes they made to both certain systems and the modernization of it to fit the times more.  

Looking at my list, I realize how terribly delayed I am in updating my transcriptions and I apologize for that.  Admittedly, I listen through the whole game session again (which means if the game was a four hour session, to transcribe it I listen through it again) pausing and starting over and over again as I transcribe the parts I can to have a nice good read of a narrative in this site.  Some games, I admit, I cropped down to paraphrased scenes and summaries, for many reasons.  But more often than not, I take so long cause I want to try to capture a lot of the good lines and moments in each game session.     There were a lot of delays in trying to transcribe two recently closed games less due to the emotional baggage they carried, and more due to hearing recorded proof of certain accusations being wrong.  But it is pointless to try and prove whose claims are true and false when most have already made up their minds.  So yeah, deleting them seemed to be the only course left to try to close that chapter completely and somehow survive the trauma left behind by the betrayal.  

In the end, I continue to explore more game and embrace what learning I can find in them.  I continue to share my experience and knowledge with those who are willing to gain them and do my part in giving back to the gaming community, albeit in a more international rather than local level.  And maybe, just maybe, 2017 will be a far better year.  Maybe it will be a year where I don't have to worry each time I talk to other gamers if they're looking at me thinking of me as supposedly a GM who runs games that hate women or promote violence upon female player characters, and maybe I'll stop hating myself for trusting others so much and start going back to celebrating gaming with others who feel the gaming fun is meant for everyone and anyone.  For now, its gotten to a point I'm afraid to even step into a gaming cafe or attend any gaming events.  And man, I hate this feeling.

So pardon me, if I close my doors a bit for the rest of this year to the local scene. The scars are still kind of raw.   I suspect I'll be told I should regret posting this.  But writing about it in some ways helps me exorcise the frustration and pain a bit. And I think I at least deserve to be able to do that for myself.  As it stands, I'm damned no matter what I've done anyway.

See you on 2017, I guess.